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Your Mom must be a doula if...

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Your Mom must be a doula if... 
  1. You actually know where babies come from AND how they get out
  2. You know what a uterus is and where it is located
  3. You know what a placenta is and what it does
  4. You have had a placenta in your house at some time in your life
  5. You are never quite sure if your mom will be anywhere at any certain time
  6. Your mom gets a call and leaves the house in the middle of the night, just like batman
  7. You know where she keeps her doula bag and know that you can find snacks inside
  8. You see a baby bottle in a storybook and make a comment about it being filled with pumped breast milk
  9. You know what breasts are for
  10. You see pregnant women in the grocery store and say "She needs a doula!"

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  • Alice Turner
Comments 18
  • Mars
    Mars

    When your 13 year old son stops the biology class, in his all male school and tells the teacher that ‘No sir, birth doesn’t work like that’, before proceeding to take them all the way through the golden hour and breastfeeding.

  • Christine Santos
    Christine Santos

    Mom’s phone goes off and based on the ringtone you ask, “Is she having her baby now?”

    You know how to organize and file contracts before you’re old enough to legally work.

    When you hear mom talking to a client about prodromal labor and Braxton Hicks contractions, you ask if the mom has had enough water.

    With a team of fourteen birth professionals, I think all of our kids know way more about pregnancy, birth, and postpartum than your average elementary kids.

    www.sunstatedoulas.com

  • Becca
    Becca

    My daughter (4 at the time) was carrying triplets (babydolls under her shirt). We recently had a momma labor at our home so she could be closer to the hospital, so my daughter would make me pause our conversation every 30 seconds or so she could work through her pretend contraction (mimicking the recent momma). Then she pulled triplet A and B out from under her shirt unceremoniously. When she reached for baby C and grabbed a foot her face went sullen. “Oh no mommy! It’s breach! I think we gotta do a version!”

  • Ami Shaffer
    Ami Shaffer

    My 8yo randomly comes up behind people and grabs their hips happily announcing, “double hip squeeze!” He has also given birth several times via vaginal birth and c-section lol ?

  • Paige Sommers
    Paige Sommers

    When your 1 and 2 year old have a difficult poop, they use different labor positions like squatting or leaning on a big ball.

  • Tiffany
    Tiffany

    They can YouTube birth videos like it’s their job…

  • Ivette
    Ivette

    My daughter said “MOM!!!… not everything is about a vagina” I said “In my world it is!”

  • Jenn H
    Jenn H

    My 5 year old was holding his belly and says “hmmm, I either have a tummy ache OR I am having a baby!”

  • christina Carino-Forrest
    christina Carino-Forrest

    My 6 year old is asked “Do you want to be a Doctor and deliver babies when you go up”
    His response, “No, that’s silly Grandma, Mama’s deliver their babies not Doctors”
    Show and tell, my 3 yr old brings in my birth eduction Mommy doll that actually has a baby that comes out, a placenta and all. Little snaps on the moms breasts and the babies mouth so baby can eat… well I got an earful from some offended parents….

  • Naomi
    Naomi

    When you are 3 and your momma uses your post glass of milk pot belly as practice for belly painting. Seriously, I think I messed him up for awhile. He was convinced he was due any day.

  • Maritza
    Maritza

    When u hear your 5 year old tell her cousin:" that’s not how babies come out! Who told you that?!"

  • Sheridan
    Sheridan

    My boys think I am potentially a Spy posing as a doula!

  • Melissa George
    Melissa George

    Your 3yr old leans over the couch and says “mom catch my baby, her head is out.” Too many YouTube birth videos. My 5yr old has also informed me that he wants to be a doctor that catches babies.

  • Suzanne DeSelms
    Suzanne DeSelms

    My kids love to help put the empty capsules in the machine when I’m doing a placenta. They are terrific workers :-)

  • Jody
    Jody

    My, at the time, 3 1/2 year old son was playing in the other room while I talked with a doula client experiencing prodromal labor over the phone. I was offering suggestions for fetal positioning and maternal comfort, when my son screams from the next room, “And take a bath!!” What can I say, he was right! Ha ha!

  • Joyce
    Joyce

    Have a niece that is a doula, am very proud of her and her daughter does know where babies come from but isn’t that normal!!

  • Tammy Laforest
    Tammy Laforest

    Lol. Comment win. I have to go teach my children a new game.

  • Whitney Hempsey
    Whitney Hempsey

    Add to that “your frequently play ‘rock, paper, scissors, placenta’ (placenta always wins)”

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